Now this is not to be confused with what do you "think" about me... "think" and "feel" are two wholly different things. And if a man cannot tell you how he feels about you after a month of dating, it's because he does not feel anything for you he just wants something. Ask a man how he feels about you, and he's going to get confused and nervous: "I told you before, I think you are" he begins. You cut him right off and say, "No, no, I want to know you how you feel about me." He might shift in his chair, scratch his head, light a cigar anything to get out of giving you an answer or thinking of what he think you want him to say. But you will have to get him to answer it. Do not get upset if he does not answer right away; he is got to go into that part of himself that he does not like to go to, and that is the emotional part. Men do not do emotion well, at all, about God and the kids and his mother, but with this questions about God and his kids and his mother, but with this question, you are asking him to look into his soul, and our DNA is not made up for the heartfelt outpouring to just anybody.
But this does not mean you should let up. What you are looking for his answer is something like this: "When I do not see you, I miss talking to you, I always wonder what you are doing and when ever you come around, I just feel better you are the type of women I have been trying to find. "In other words, his answer has to make you feel wonderful. He may not be in love with you just yet, but he is crazy about you and he is probably thinking he wants to explore a long term commitment with you, because when he starts to profess and put you in a position where he can provide for and protect you, he is seeing a feature with you in it. And this is exactly where you want to be his with this Guy. The "I think you are cool" answer is not going to cut it here, Ladies. And if you have asked the question and probed deeper, you realize his feelings for you do not run very deep that he is just not there then you need to not be there, too. Pump the brakes until you start hearing and feeling from him the things that you think are important to hear and feel from a man with whom you are willing to forget a relationship.
Women are fully aware that we have to answer these questions, and any real man is going to answer them. You may not necessarily, like the answers, but he is going to answer them. If he refuses, the don't bother with him. Don't think that you're going to work it our later-that you'll wait him out until he gets more comfortable with you-because that would be nothing more than blind hope. before you know it, and you'll be finding out the hard way that this in not the guy for you, and you'll be starting all the conversations with your girlfriends like this: "You know, i slept with hi and he is not about anything, i don't even know if he likes kids...."Don't let happen. Empower yourself-it is your right to know all of these answers up front; per my ninety-day rule, which you'll discover in the next chapter, you need to ask these questions within the first few months of a courtship.
If you're already in a relationship with someone, these questions are still valid if you don't know the answers. You can ask them for clarification. Or you may need to ask them with the hope that they'll solidify what you may already know-either that you need to get out of your relationship or that you are headed in the right direction. His answers may help you cut your losses, before you invest too many more years in a relationship that is not going the way you want it to go. Or they may make you say, "Wow, I'm glad I'm with this man."
Know, too, that though we'll answer the questions because we like talking about ourselves, our answers just may make us consider the woman who's asking the questions in a different light. We definitely want to know where our women stand on these issues, too, but we're not going to bring it up-especially if our intentions for you aren't pure. But in your conversations around these issues, your man just might learn something about you, too, something that makes him know he's got a pretty solid woman on his side. Say, for instance, he tells you that he wants to be an engineer and he's going to night school to get his engineers and you can offer to introduce him to them so that they can give some helpful advice as he works toward his new career. When you offer that helping hand, he starts to think, she's offering to help me out. Maybe she might be the one to get me to the next level." And he might just envision including you in those "next level" plan.
See, you're getting information from him and plugging yourself into all these slots-do i see myself in his short-term plans, his long-term plans, as a part of his family, having babies with him, helping him continue a solid relationship with his mom, being a role-model dad for our kids, the whole picture? But it's a two-way street: know that this guy you're quizzing is listening to these intelligent, inquisitive questions, and calculating whether you're a woman who is his keeper or just a sports fish.